38,000 pounds of tampons and a change of underwear

I have hauled many different commodities in my short career as a Commodities Relocation Specialist. (that means truck driver). I have hauled cottonseed, diapers, fruit roll ups, dog food, laundry detergent, and fabric.


I have hauled REAL pig skins (A.D.D. moment here. did you know the pork rinds you buy at the store are actually made with pig skins. REAL pig skins! I did not, but now that I do, I will never eat them again) and frozen chicken. I have hauled bottled water and Pepsi.

I have also hauled Hazardous Chemicals and baby powder. I have carried a load of beer from Milwaukee to Georgia, with a quick stop at my house. Well, I didn't really stop at the house, but Joanne sure was trying to talk me into it.=-)


One time I hauled a load of cigarettes out of California with so much security you would have thought I was carrying nuclear secrets or something. These cigarettes did not have the tax stamp on them yet, so the government wasn't taking any chances on losing that revenue. (Another A.D.D moment. Cigarette smoking is so bad for us, so why doesn't the government just make them illegal and stop subsidizing the tobacco farmers? Then they could also stop spending millions of dollars on Stop Smoking PSA's , save even more money on health care because we are told that smoking is one of the leading causes of health care costs rising, after obesity. Think of all the money we could save.....hmmmmm. We probably make more on the cigarette taxes though, so lets play both sides of the issue and get as much revenue as possible and then say it is for the children!) Sorry for the tangent, I just get sick of our government talking out of both sides of their crooked mouths.


I even hauled a load of Tampons from somewhere in Missouri to Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Well, almost to Green Bay. I ran into a little problem along the way.


I spent a lovely May evening somewhere in southern Illinois at a Shell Truck Stop. After doing my pre-trip, I headed up the road on my way to Wisconsin. This route took me past my house, so I decided to stop at home and visit with Joanne and the kids, and the yet to be delivered Jack.


After a lovely lunch at Hardee's, I headed back up the road on my way to deliver all 38,000 pounds of tampons in the trailer.


As I headed up Route 151 in Sun Prairie Wisconsin, I accelerated from 55 to 63 and set my cruise. Just as I did this, a gust of wind pushed against my trailer, trying to gently push me to the right. (these trailers are like big ole sails out there. High winds are especially fun to drive in) As I gently nudged my steering wheel to the left, a funny thing happened. The truck did not respond. There was no pressure against the wheel.

For a second I thought "That's odd" until I realized that what this meant was that I HAD NO STEERING!!!!


That is right boys and girls, my steering had ceased to function. Without getting all technical, the hoochamajiggy came off the thingamajig, literally disconnecting my steering wheel from the wheels. (For you mechanics, I know you understand what I am talking about. Some mechanic said the pitman arm came off the steering box and I was like "Yeah right, you weren't there, how do you know?)


So, 63 mph. 38,000 lbs of tampons. 1 split second to make a decision. What do you do wise guy, what do you do?


First, i think I may have cursed out loud. Just a little bit, but I am sure I used every word I could think of and then I made up a few, just to make sure I had my bases covered.

Did i mention I was on a bridge? Oh yeah, and that there was 4 lanes of traffic. Oh yeah, and that there was an 80 foot drop to my right? (That is where the change of underwear comes in. I really could have used one)


Well, the Lord had his hand on my truck that day, kind of like a child playing with a toy truck. The wind that was annoying me, actually pushed me into the jersey barriers on the right. Why is this good? If my truck had gone to the left, I would have gone across 3 lanes of traffic and a pretty nasty median. By going to the right it allowed me to stay on the road until I was across the bridge. Then I went down an 80 foot embankment and came to stop on the entrance ramp that lead up to the highway I just came off of.


The truck did not roll over thanks to the soft ground and God's will.


It is funny what you think of after a stressful situation like that. After I knew I was OK, and that no one else was involved in my accident, I went to the bunk of my truck and checked out the TV/DVD combo we had purchased not too long before. I heard it hit the floor of the bunk as the truck rolled down the embankment, and I wanted to see if it still worked. After all, what would I do without entertainment? So before I did ANYTHING else, I plugged it back in and turned it on. Guess what? It still worked!


I called my company to let them know what had happened and waited for the police to show up. I called Joanne to let her know. It was then that I realized what had really just happened and how close I came to something really bad occurring. I had almost left this earth without seeing my son. I would have missed watching his little newborn eyes trying to focus on my voice when I spoke to him for the first time out of the womb. I almost missed seeing him born. (OK, i just put that in there so you guys will think that was special for me. It was really kinda gross. lol) I almost missed hearing him say he was daddy's baby.

I almost missed the rest of my life with Joanne and the kids. I almost missed all the fun I have out here on the road. I almost missed the Indians winning the World Series and the Browns winning the Super Bowl! (I am the eternal optimist. I am a Cleveland fan, what can I say?)


I also almost missed out on all the memories I have had since then, and that I will have in the future. Don't take safety for granted. Some things are beyond our control, like that steering breaking. Some things, however, are not beyond our control.

We can drive safely. We can not tailgate. We can do the speed limit. We can pay attention while we are driving. (I saw a woman yesterday reading a report or something she had placed on her steering wheel, talking on the phone, and drinking something with a child in the car. I hope she made it where she was going for the child's sake.)

We can be patient. (I have a hard time with that one). We can be tolerant without being hateful.
(politics included in that statement)

And when we come upon one of those things we can not control, trust God, pray, and sometimes, you gotta just hang on for the ride and hope your TV/DVD combo works afterwards.

Drive safe. I want you to read my next post.

WHAT THE?!.......Did I just see that?

There are 2 ways to "See" things in my way of thinking? You can actually take in a sight with your own eyes and have that image embedded onto your brain OR someone can describe what they have seen and create the image in your mind for you.

The first one is, of course, the easiest to take in. The second one is sort of what I try to do in my own little way with this blog.

So today I am going to tell you some things I have seen. Not all of them from the seat of my truck, but all with my own little near sighted, contact lens wearing, slightly astigmatized , blue eyeballs.

The most beautiful and at the same time disturbing thing I have EVER seen was the birth of my son. For the first time, I actually saw this little dude I had been having conversations with and dreaming of meeting for the last 9 months. As all parents think, but I actually know for a fact, Jack was the most perfect baby ever born! I know, I know, you guys all think your children were the most perfect, but I am here to tell you that YOU ARE WRONG! =-) He had a perfect head, perfect little mouth, perfect hands and feet and a perfect little body. Sure, there was some kinda gunk all over this specimen of perfection, but we will blame that on his mommy, cause I know I didn't put it there!

However, while a beautiful thing, it was also "kinda" gross. I do not need to go into the details here. Joanne was a trooper through the whole ordeal even before MR. Epidural came to help out with the event. As this event was going on, after this event was finished, and even to this day, her beauty comes in at #2. How she does all that she does and still remains upright and breathing amazes me every day.

I have seen a 10 foot snow bank next to me in the Rocky Mountains, even as I was taking off my sweat jacket because it was getting too hot.

I have seen the sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean, and set over the fields of Kansas with a rainbow of colors painting the sky.

I have seen the Northern Lights in Alaska. They were so vivid it almost seemed like someone had taken a can of translucent green spray paint and covered the sky with it. They were so intense, I did not realize for a minute or so what i was actually looking at. They moved and shimmered like they were alive.

While in Alaska, I watched Bald Eagles perched on a light post on Douglas bridge for days on end. They were watching the waters of the inside passage, waiting for the right fish I guess. I saw Cruise ships with thousands of people come to see the beauty I had the privilege of seeing everyday.

I have seen numerous car accidents, truck accidents and one bus accident. Many with fatalities, most with just damaged sheet metal and rising insurance premiums.

In Northern Indiana, I got to see an Amish teenagers buggy! How do I know it was a teenager's? Well, I drive through Amish country every day. At night, since they are all painted black, they have flashing lights on them so people will see them BEFORE they hit them. Some of them have only 2 amber lights on front, and 2 red lights on the back. Others put "running" lights on them to make them a little more visible. The teenagers buggy however, also had NEON lights underneath. I kid you not! If I had a camera with me, I would show you the proof now, but alas, I did not, so you will just have to take my word for it.

But there is one thing I saw with my own little 2 eyes that have made one big change in the way I drive, whether in my car or truck. Hopefully, I can paint this picture so you might make the same decision.

On the Indiana toll road, about the 28 mile marker, traffic came to a stop. It was backed up on both lanes as far as I could see and it did not make me happy. Some idiot had undoubtedly caused an accident and had the road shut down, making me and everyone else on their way to wherever late! I was ticked.

I jumped on my CB trying to find out where the accident was and what had happened so I could let my dispatcher know what was going on and when I might be expected at my destination. My load was HOT, you know. But nobody was talking. Lots of people were asking the same thing, but nobody ahead of us, and nobody coming from the other direction was responding. This was making me even angrier. I was becoming more impatient as the minutes rolled by. We were moving, but at a snails pace, and I am only allowed to be on the clock 14 hours in a day. This was going to ruin my weekend! All because some IDIOT DRIVER WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION!!

Finally, I could see some flashing lights up ahead. There sure were a lot of them. But there were no tow trucks, only ambulance lights and firetruck lights. "A truck must have caught fire" or something like that I thought. "Some dumb driver probably let a seal go without repairing it and caught his truck on fire. Great, Just great!"

Once I got to the scene of the accident though, I realized why everyone was so quiet. There, on the side of the road, was a body covered in a blood soaked, white sheet. A young man leaned against a car parked on the side of the road, obviously distraught. Another car was parked behind that one with the flashers on. State troopers were taking measurements. One officer was talking to a car that was parked about 500 feet in front of the other 2. I made the rest of my journey in deep thought.

Coming back through that area the next day, I found out what had happened on the local radio station. A car had a tire go flat as it travelled down the road. The young man driving the car pulled off the side of the road and called home to ask his father for help. As most fathers would, this man went to help his son.

As the father worked to get the tire off his son's car, his hands slipped off of the tire iron, and he fell back into the roadway. At that very moment, a car crossed the line and hit him, killing him instantly.

How many lives were changed at that second? A father, husband and son would never come home again. A son, would never get to talk to his father about anything. A driver who had no idea his life would change that day, was suddenly responsible for taking the life of a man, whether he was being negligent or not. I am sure he is still haunted to this day.

Why did I feel the need to share this "Feel Good" Story? Simple. When you are driving down the highway, and you see a vehicle, pulled off to the side, please safely move into the other lane. If you can not do that, at least slow down. It is the law in most states, but besides that, I would not want any of you do have to deal with ANY of what those individuals had to deal with on that day and will deal with for the reat of their lives.